Little Black Girls Rite of Passage: First Perm

First Perm Black GirlIf you are an African-American woman you may already know where I’m going with this. However, it’s always amazing to me that other races don’t know what the hell I’m talking about when I say the little black girls rite of passage.  This concept that has played in many African-American women’s lives still to this very day can be tagged as a “Tradition”. But if this is a tradition I will NOT be passing it down to my little black girl.

Relaxer, perm, creamy crack, the good stuff, my straight fix are some of the terms said in the kitchen that I can remember coming up.  I don’t blame my mother for applying a substance not made to help me on my head. I don’t blame myself for continuing to use a chemical known to burn holes in my damn scalp, literally. I don’t blame the black beauty supply stores for always carrying Just For Me. I only blame “Ignorance”. All my blame is to ignorance because it carries more weight than a dumb truck full of Christmas trash. The ignorance of people during times of no Internet but a library pains me. There were signs that so many black families still ignore to this day; countless headaches, scalp burns, lack of hair growth, limp looking tresses, a scalps dry cry for grease and don’t forget death.

Is it interesting that the little black girls rite of passage would entail things to stop her growth? Now we are not the same so our adverse effects vary but really some of us tell the same stories of succumbing to a head scratch only minutes before placing the harshest topical chemical known to man on our heads. And for what? A good week of straight hair and approval from others.  The days of perms being the only option in the black community are decreasing. I for one will not raise my child in perm utopia sin-land. I’ve already begun arguing with men who in the end can’t hold a candle to being my husband but seem to have an opinion about “our” daughter having a perm. As to say her not having a perm is going to keep her from applying to Yale and actually being accepted.

The days of Blue Magic grease, Neutralizing Shampoo, and plastic gloves that never stayed on anyone’s hands are OVER. I am praying for my little black girls rite of passage to be her accepting God as her personal savior NOT her getting a perm. Sure, the ones who finally woke up from the ignorance will be able to tell the tales of relaxers. But just like the good ol’ days they will not be lived by the children of tomorrow. Let’s raise a glass in honor of the last toast to the little black girls rite  of passage; relaxers, you had a long run in the African-American community but just like the introduction of crack you have done nothing but bring it down.

Cheers to you and good riddance.

Read the follow on post, I’m Natural and So is My Child .

Living in the Curl of it…

Diana (a.k.a DRamZ84)

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  • Ayana McClain

    My GOD!! No wonder you said I was on the same page. Girl this article is OFF THE CHAIN!!! My my my….. Yes maam my little one will not know anything about a relaxer. She has her pretty girl swag and thinks noone can tell her ANYTHING about her natural hair. She has been featured in my youtube videos, tells me how I have been really taking care of her hair and to top it off, SHE SINGS GOSPEL SONGS… that was a s/n because you always see little young ladies singing beyonce’ or whoever is hot and know nothing about Christ or their SIGHT WORDS for that matter… I digress, LOL I want her to feel confident and comfortable with what she has instead of having the feeling that many of our mothers had.. ( This hair is so unmanageable). Thanks for this article

    • Anonymous

      yes girl..wrote this post almost a YEAR AGO…been holding for such a special moment..and now its finally that your daughter knows she is beautiful when she looks in the mirror…so many need to know it..and not that being natural makes that easy..just saying that you begin to look within for the validation and not from outside influences or things..:) Touche and Salute

  • Mashao Johnson

    There will be no creamy crack nothing in my household. I believe that planting the seed to embrace what is already beautiful starts with me as a mother of two young girls. I plan to continue my natural journey and also take that journey with my daughters. My Penny is almost 2 and she has been twisting it up and fro’ing it down since her hair started to grow. While I had to make a transition 6 years ago, I know in my heart it was the right decision. When I take out her twists or just let it go with some knot today she always says “beautiful.” Be happy with who you ARE, not with who you think you WANT to be or should be. Let one of her SIGHT WORDS be twist… I say “I sure will!”

    • SistersWithBeauty

      ..Butterfly @facebook-100000285138188:disqus .we love it..:) The natural community is changing the little black girls experience. You are 100% right, educating yourself allows you to make better decisions for your girls. Curl claps and snaps to you Butterfly..:)